Mercy is...feeling the pain of Loved Ones

We were preparing for our First Penance/ Confession/ Reconciliation. I did not know what to call it back then. Well, neither did our CCD teachers - it was somewhat confusing. But, no matter what you called it, even though I was as nervous as all getout, I knew I was going to get closer to Christ somehow, and that to me was very exciting.

Then, my catechism teacher took us to the "confessional"; I guess somewhat of a field trip for the day. I now do not remember anything about this class, or even the teachers name unfortunately; I would love to thank her for the teaching that has never left me to this day. In the confessional we stood for a very long time. We stood there and looked at a beautiful wooden crucifix hanging on the wall. His face was beautiful! In so much pain, but so beautiful. The thorns that had bore into his hairline left painful marks that one could only imagine - then there were the wounds from the nails that kept him there. His body so frail, so human. But such a loving face, and in so much pain.

Then she said, "He was thirsty, and asked for a drink... and do you know what they did to him...?" At that point, I couldn't bear the thought. Such a loving, wonderful, sinless man. I knew at this point I loved everything about our Lord. Jesus had been a healer, compassionate, loving...and yet when he suffered, nobody loved back, or had compassion, or healed him. At about nine, this was about the best I could do to understand the passion. I was supposed to believe he did this out of love for us, his mercy and compassion. But, I did not understand that anyone could Love that much. To endure that much pain, and still love; in fact to forgive those that caused him that pain.

As I have grown, I still love the sacrament of confession; and I still love our Lord, and humbled by every thought of the mercy that pours down upon each one of us. I understand that love only to the depths that I as a human can - and yet know it goes much further. Ok, so now I also understand that through God's grace we too are called to share that love and compassion. Great, love the thought. However, I stopped at the possibility of getting beyond our human hangups to accept the suffering that comes at times through that same great Love.

Love is patient, Love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek it's own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

I am beginning to see it a little clearer these days though. How can one suffer without love? There is no question now that we all do have a cross to bear. Whether we accept this fact or not, there is a lot of suffering in this world today. But, I have been witnessing a man suffer to depths that are astounding. Six weeks ago, he was admitted to the hospital, an acute patient with many complications, suffering from an inflammatory blood disorder complicated by blood and liver Syndromes. We receive messages on a daily basis - 6 weeks in ICU, excruciating pain, surgery after surgery...even tonight was sent in for yet another surgery. After the surgery went well, the family after having sent an Urgent plea for prayers for Tim; sent a prayer of Thanksgiving - and asked for prayers for all those that had given blood for Tim to make it through surgery...all 9 of them.

Tim has gone from being one of the healthiest looking people I know, to living on a ventilator, then an oscilator, then back to the ventalator again. And, when he was well enough to be fed by a tube, and get ice chips...we smiled at the story that he said "Grace" in thanksgiving for that gift. Tim is suffering terrible pain, and yet, praying for each of the patients that are on the same floor as him. In ICU for 6 weeks, Tim is fighting a good fight, and without bitterness, or anger, loving everyone that is around him. I understand he prays for each of his nurses as they get off their shift.

I am starting to realize now, the depths of Love that it takes to suffer the pains of the cross. Yes, Tim is experiencing pain and suffering that I cannot even imagine - and through God's grace and abundant peace and consolation, is also experiencing a "love" that is so abundant it can not be expressed. And, those of us touched by Tim's life - and there are so many - are learning from Tim's love.

Lord, I pray for you to bring Tim and his family every consolation. That his sufferings will not burden his body any greater than he can handle; and that he might gain his strength back to continue his witness to those he comes in contact with, especially the Youth at St. Vincent de Paul Church, Dallas, GA and St. Catherine of Siena Kennesaw, GA.

A Calm in the Storm

A year ago today, a dear friend, and sister in Christ, Cyndi Babecka, lost her battle to cancer. My heartbreak was selfish compared to the grace and acceptance of God's will accepted by Cyndi, her gentle husband Bob, and 6 beautiful children. Cyndi was deeply rooted in faith, and appeared to have an exceptional relationship with our Lord, strengthened by a true devotion to our Lady, His mother Mary.

How can anyone truly know of another person's faith, devotions, or personal relationship with the Lord? The obvious answer is, you really can't. However, how we live our lives is the silent evangelization of our beliefs, whether rooted in the Gospels, or not. This is not to say that we go around judging how Christ-like people are by their every action, but Cyndi's presence to me just felt like a calm in the storm. Cyndi was surrounded by 6 children, something that would bring out the roaring lion in me, and she spoke in a calm, thoughtful, and pleasant tone - reminding me truly of the grace and wisdom of our gentle Mother, Mary.

We all are surrounded by storm, some more than others, at different times in our life. And yet, with faith we can find the calm. While at times, there is no other option than to reach out our hands and say, "Lord, save me", as Peter did when he realized he could not walk on water alone. Cyndi has taught me, to the best of our abilities to have faith, but most of all to "live" that faith, and above all - reach out our hands, our hearts, our very lives to Him that says, "Come to me..." and "do not be afraid..."

While Cyndi is praying for us now, in the eternal embrace, may she always remind me that there is never a storm so great that we cannot find the calm.

Etsy Rosary Guild Team: The Rosary and its Meditative Gift to our Souls

Etsy Rosary Guild Team: The Rosary and its Meditative Gift to our Souls: "In today’s world of Heroes and Heroines, I would like to offer the idea that St. Teresa of Avila, Doctor of the Church and contemplative Car..."

Sometimes a song says it all...

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariedenazareth.com%2F2459.0.html&h=f0934

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariedenazareth.com%2F2459.0.html&h=f0934

Of "Holy" Men

We have been very blessed in Atlanta to have many seminarians, about 50! Men willing to give their lives to the service of the ministerial priesthood. At St. Vincent de Paul in Dallas, we were especially blessed over the past couple of years to have two transitional deacons, spend their year with our parish. Living in our "rural but growing" community in GA, growing in formation for the priesthood with our Pastor, Fr. Adrian Pleus.

We also have had other seminarians involved with our Parish through their formation, one assisting through a summer break, and another a part of our Parish with his family, who attended and served many masses through his years of formation. In fact, 3 have now celebrated their first mass with our humble "but growing" community. Growing up in the catholic church, I do not remember a time that parishes were involved in Praying for Vocations. This is something I learned about here in Atlanta. I received a postcard sized card with a picture of a seminarian and his address on it from a seminarian's mother a few years ago. I accepted it and wrote to the seminarian, admittedly probably once. But, I started praying a prayer for priests.

I have been so fortunate to have been on pilgrimage to Italy, Portugal-Spain-France, and the Holy Land. Again, at every stop, whichever seminarians we were praying for at the time, plus all seminarians especially those in Atlanta received intentions at Masses in Assisi, Rome, in Jerusalem at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Fatima, Lourdes, and Lisieux. I pray in thanksgiving that these men are discerning the priesthood, and also for their courage, and strength, but especially that they will become Holy priests by God's grace. This is their prayer as well, as one seminarian shared with me. As we are people they are ministering to, we need to be praying for them! Not judging, not challenging, no expectations...just giving the same mercy, compassion, and love that they are giving us. And, that starts with prayer. Lots of it.

The fruit of all these years in prayer for our Priests and Vocations brought about a very interesting year for me. During this Year of the Priest, I had a new understanding of how difficult this calling truly is. Yes, they are human. Yes, they have tough days like you and me. But, at the same time, they are called to be holy right?

"Much will be required of the person with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more."

After learning of a difficult situation, I prayed, and cried, and was overwhelmed with compassion for one of the priests my family had prayed for long ago. The magnifying glass held by the people, needs to magnify the Lord - not the individual mistakes we all make. Through my prayer, and study of Hebrews 7 and Psalm 110, I put together a special rosary, the "You Are A Priest Forever Rosary". With different materials for each of the decades reflecting on the beauty, and the difficulty of the vocation. I have made and given them so far as gifts to 3 of the Holy men God has brought to my path, and I have decided now to offer these as a special order - with the ability to engrave initials and date of ordination or anniversary - and somehow offer the net profits to the Seminarians of the Archdiocese of Atlanta.

They will be available at http://www.faithfulservantarts.etsy.com/.

And with immense thanksgiving to the Lord for Fr. Adrian, Fr. Ignacio, Fr. Omar, Fr. Mario, Fr. Tom, Fr. Brian, Fr. Juan, and Fr. G, and all the seminarians in the Archdiocese I pray:

O Jesus, I pray for your faithful and fervent priests; for your unfaithful and tepid priests; for your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields; for your tempted priests; for your lonely and desolate priests; for your young priests; for your dying priests.

But above all I recommend to you the priests dearest to me; the priest who baptized me; the priests who absolved me; the priests at whose Masses I assisted in Holy Communion; the priests who taught and instructed me; all the priests whom I am indebted in any other way. O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart, and bless them abundantly in time and in eternity. Amen.

Our "Life-giving" Gifts

July has certainly been a month for prayer. I had started out the month with concerns of a possible "lump" or "mass" seen in my check up. Rather than re-filming right away though, a look at history was a more conservative way to go so we needed to wait for films to be sent, etc.

I had decided not to have any concern, as there is some benign history in my family tree - and it was likely along the same lines. I really wanted to focus on not getting worried. Still every now and then there were fleeting thoughts of "what ifs"... and "how would"... with every effort to remind myself that not knowing anything yet was no cause to despair. My focus quickly turned to those who are suffering, and to those that did suffer so much, and we lost not so long ago. During this time of not knowing if there was or wasn't an issue, I put together the above Pink Ribbon Rosary in honor and memory of my dear friend Cyndi.

Also, during this last week, a much more difficult experience happened to another dear friend of mine. After suffering an illness after a surgery, it was explained to her that she likely had cancer, but it required further testing to confirm. Prayers were fervent for this woman, intercessory prayers requested from all over. The news after testing was even more grim. The family was devastated - preparing themselves for the "what ifs" that just became their reality. Working through an initial mourning at an impending loss that would take away a wife, a mother, a grandmother... then, a bit later the same day, another call. The final pathology this time shared a different story - "it's not cancer after all..." he said. Yes, I'm told it was a roller coaster of emotion.

That same evening, in looking at the San Damiano Cross icon, our priest was pointing out a few of the icon images - "and here's Lazarus with the burial cloths wrapped still on his head". And, just then we spoke of how this family had suffered a loss, and gained a life back in the same day. In their eyes, truly a miracle.

How often have we suffered a death, only to have the gift of life given back to us in the Lord's immeasurable mercy, and we don't even see it? This "good news" that was shared with this family, and within our parish truly has given us a fresh look at appreciating those around us, and finding life after death. When I see a newly baptized member of our church, it is such a heartwarming moment of "new life". The same when seeing a married couple that can renew their life of love, after years of challenges, and the priest through the mercy of God absolving us of the deadness of sin, through the healing or "life-giving" sacrament of Reconciliation. The story of Lazarus really gives us the opportunity to see how precious our lives are, and how much we are loved.

So today, at the end of July, I received my little "life" moment. After viewing more films, the radiologist assured us that there was nothing there, I was fine. While I do not want to make something out of nothing, I am so thankful for this gift I received. Looking at life a little differently, not for worries sake; for the opportunity to look around and appreciate even more the grace that I am given each day I live my life, and every blessing I receive.